Fast forward to the evening, the restaurant is dimly lit but
our centerpiece, a lone candle flickers, brighter then dimmer, brighter then
dimmer. Its flame dancing but providing just enough light for Steph, who pulls
out a book and begins to read an excerpt from “all about love” by Bell Hooks.
Youth culture today is
cynical about love. And that cynicism has come from their pervasive feeling
that love cannot be found. Expressing this concern in When All You’ve ever
Wanted isn’t Enough, Harold Kushner writes: “I am afraid that we may be raising
a generation of young people who will up afraid to love, afraid to give
themselves completely to another person, because they will have seen how much
it hurts to take the risk of loving and have it not work out. I am afraid that
they will grow up looking for intimacy without risk, for pleasure without
significant emotional investment. They will be so fearful of the pain of
disappointment that they will forgo the possibilities of love and joy.” Young
people are cynical about love. Ultimately, cynicism is the great mask of the
disappointed and betrayed heart.
I am moved. This is not the kind of legacy I want for my
son. I am raising a lover and I had never considered that perhaps I should also
be raising a soldier of love. That I would have to raise him to not only believe
in love and to live it but to fight for it, keep it alive and inspire the same
in others. We pledge allegiance to many causes. We’re fighting to save the
rhino, the planet, electricity, water, time and money. So I ask you, how about love?
Fast forward again and Steph and I have moved across to the
bar area of The Loft. It’s a very intimate venue; truly the better for us to be
enveloped by the evenings’ musical soundscape. Introducing: Pebbles with a 3
piece band delivering jazz standards from Ella Fitzgerald, Amy Winehouse, Ray
Charles and Frank Sinatra just to name a few. A journey through love she told
us, from the heart fluttering beginnings to a heart wrenching lament from her
own album, Phenomenal, “(Please don’t say that) its over”. The nights’ theme was consistent.
From my conversation with Steph, which was inspired by the
book and tweets from @geeisdope about love. I’d like to pull out 2 things for you to
consider:
1. A mutual understanding of love and its
responsibilities and an appreciation of its rewards
2. Being part of a natural love movement that
converses about love with the obvious aim of
understanding and living it
truthfully.
This is what I thought of the 2
points.
1. Despite my obvious inclination
towards conversations about love I can’t say that I have gone deep enough to
truly extract its essence and know it. What is Love? I kept thinking.
2. I believe that I am part of
this natural love movement I can’t however be convinced at this stage that it’s consistently so or if I’m even averaging a positive contribution towards the
movement.
“Schools for love do not
exist. Everyone assumes that we will know how to love instinctively. “
We are constantly informed
and bombarded by elements that threaten to destroy love. Our learned and
accepted behavior is that relationships are disposable. If it doesn’t work out,
we find someone else. With that kind of prevailing logic what chance do our committed
bonds, marriages and families have?
I would love to be able to
round this off in a nice and tidy fashion but its painfully impossible to do
so. I don’t have a fully formed personal opinion post the weekends
contemplations. My only hope is that this post has provided you with some food
for thought.
Feast.
p.s The Loft is planning on hosting more of these evenings. Follow me at @mamakashaka to stay updated or search for #jazzattheloft
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