XOXO

Having recently started dating again I quickly realized how out of touch or practice I really was. It all kinda had me wishing there was a play book that I could refer back to. It's been fun and still is but no two people ever have the same interpretation or adhere to the same guidelines when dating. This thought was further emphasised when after having spent a significant time together the guy asked, "so when do you think I'll get to first base" Without missing a beat, I first laughed, first base? So high school yet so appropriate. I then responded, "Well, you're not an encounter off the street so I think after the 3rd date. Chill sessions with friends and parties don't count." Where did this stuff come from? Lol! 

But at 30 if there's one thing I do know and have learnt, its one should take the time to really know what they're getting themselves into. The thing is, when you're attracted to someone it's really easy for those feelings to take the steering wheel. When you're feeling someone and you move too fast and consummate that affection prematurely its inevitable that you'll find yourself way in over your head, feeling bound to somebody before you even know who they really are. If you're thinking but it's just a kiss then please let me break it down for you. Can I do that please? Ok ...

To quote the character Darius Lovehall from Love Jones, "Romance is about the possibility of the thing. You see, it's about the time between when you first meet a woman, and when you first make love to her; When you first ask a woman to marry you and when she says I do. When people who have been together a long time say that the romance is gone, what they're really saying is that they've exhausted the possibility."

When I flirt with a man I'm engaging that possibility. The interaction between that special somebody and I, well thats me teasing and flirting with that possibility. When I eventually let him kiss me it is like surrendering to the possibilities and just like that it's done. My fate sealed with a kiss. A kiss can awaken so many things and also very little at all. It could be the possibility that lives between the moment when your lips first touch to when they part. The possibility could live a little longer, prolonged to just the end of that night or if you're lucky the rest of your lives. But to underestimate the potential & full impact of a really good kiss at the right time with the right person is something I could not be bothered to front about.

There are also the practical considerations, a kiss too soon can kill a budding romance. I believe physical attraction is something that should be conserved and nurtured. Sometimes it's ideal for a kiss to happen at some kind of breaking point. I'm thinking of an Etta James "at last" type of kiss people.

My advice to all new connections is to take your time. Allow the full possibility of the thing, that moment to live and to first come alive.

Trust me on this, I've just used 531 words talking about a single kiss.

Feast!