Love Ethic

I've often heard that we're lucky to fall in love once let alone twice in a lifetime. If I think about the number of times that I have truthfully claimed to love someone, I'm looking at 3 times bitten. Because of this I casually started questioning not only the truthfulness of such statements but that of my heart as well. Have I really been inlove "that many times?" I wonder, what do phrases like the great love of your life even mean when I take into consideration the fact that I'm only 30 and still unwed. Is it possible that some or all of the loves that I have felt were inferior somehow. This is not an obvious question for me  because i dont' neccessarily think that a forever makes a love great. There's the obvious assumption that this alleged great love of your life is the individual you choose to settle down with, whatever settling down would mean for you. But then I think of those couples who, though happily married, cite another lover as their great love.

When I picture just what  things my life should contain, I see children and a loving husband. I am commited to this vision and because getting married is something that I want for myself it is something that I will keep striving for until I chose to commit to an alternative vision of my life. I guess you could say I'm hard wired that way. With that said I will fall inlove as many times as I need to/can in order to achieve that ideal. I want to say that falling inlove is the easy part but that would be very misleading but if you're still with me, what I'm trying to express is that love/chemistry as I have sorely come to realize is the most "commonly found" ingredient of what any couple needs to effectively realize a forever after. The things that make or allow that love to reach its fullest potential are and have been the constant deal breakers. For what is love if not potential and what is heartbreak if not the potential of that love unfulfilled. I think that falling inlove is great and that's that really. I think we are all better for having loved and having been loved in someway and I'm not sure if what you feel for another person can be compared to a love you have or might have had for another. Infact instead of evaluating your past love affairs through the whom how you've responded to love in general is something I think would be worthwile to investigate. Like, what kind of relationship do you have with love. I think theres a certain value one ascribes to that affection that informs how one acts when one is in a relationship and this is regardless of who the recipient may be. To an extent, its kinda like how your work ethic is your work ethic.

 I don't believe in great loves or even soul mates *gasps*. Far as I'm concerned, you don't meet great loves, you build great relationships.

Feast!