You Got Game?

I have come to the stunning conclusion that I have no game. My approach is weak however once engaged I can pretty much hold my own but even then I have a severe case of foot in mouth syndrome where most of what i say is incredibly uncensored often teetering on the verge of "oh no you didn't say that?!" responses when I relay tells of my mack gone wrong to my girlfriends. In the past Ive always told myself that this was ok and that it took or I much preferred a man who could roll with the punches remain un-phased if not slightly amused by my particular blend of flirting but these men are few and come very very far apart. 

I consulted my panel of brothers and sisters in the hopes of improving my own personal game and to, as always, impart invaluable insights. Anything to get my game strong just in time for the summer ;-) 

The hardest part of a flirt is actually getting one going. So the panel and I first talked about setting up that crucial introduction than moved to various flirtation pointers.

So you're at a party and you see a guy you like. What does a gal do?

Watch from afar, try determine who you may know in common and set up some kind of introduction. During the introduction, watch for eye contact as well as his general body language as he interacts with you to see if there is any kind of interest. Personally I don't initiate flirts, I conversate but all in the hopes that he will initiate a flirt which I would gladly reciprocate. The panel however thinks I play it too safe and that most men just cannot read between the lines so at some point obvious flattery could turn on them lights.

What if there's no one to set up the introduction? 

My personal advise based on years of practice and to the most part a practice I have found reasonably successful. Stay in his line of sight. That simple. On a basic level I need to trust that a man can first identify what he wants and with subtle baiting I usually hope to gawd he likes what he sees and will approach me. I don't ever approach a guy unaided. I'd rather encourage him. I try establish eye contact and smile from across the room. I keep the gap between us small enough so whatever courage he has mustered doesnt evaporate as he tries and as I simultaneously will him to close the gap. Never ever underestimate the power of the mind. LOL! Sometimes this is not enough, a young strut past him can help entice him to make the leap and holler. Brothers, as far as I'm concerned if a woman catches your gaze and smiles you have permission to walk over. Unless the smile is accompanied by the raising of both eyebrows then hold off and look for another sign.

I'd like to believe that the above is standard, part of the basic mack I'd like to classify as the enabling game. Setting up scenarios that would be conducive for a holler. 

But how does one make an impression that doesn't compromise ones position?
By position I mean my right as a woman to be pursued. I can't be doing the work for a dude. I'm quick to cut my losses if a guy doesn't quickly reciprocate or open myself to options. Introduced twice, in your line of sight a handful of times and we are at the same party for hours and no move? PASS!

Timing is everything.

Flirting is a dance and the timing and rhythm of the exchange is everything. 
So, timely responses are necessary. If you get a flirty text but don't have time for the back and forth you need to manage that situation quick fast. Your response should be at the very least as equally flirty but letting them know you'd like to pick this up later in the day or evening. I'd go as far as to say that you should even up the ante a bit just so they know you're interested and are not blowing them off. 

Following through.
Hit me up when you say you're going to hit me up. Theres not a lot thats more off putting then anticipating a move and then *inserts crickets*. This is often very hard to recover from

Number exchanges.

It is unacceptable to offer your number to a woman. 

Ladies, don't take it and if you've found yourself awkwardly typing his details in, lose them! I shouldn't have to explain why this is a mack fail and I won't. 

Some of the panel shared with me some of their approaches. Given and received.

One guy relays an instance when a certain young lady walked over to him and said, " hey. I think you're really smart and that's so hot my name is ... " he says he was flattered and took it from there. He says her approach told him what he needed to know about the type of woman she was. He also relays an unfortunate tale of how another womans overly sexual approach left him feeling dirty. Some men really don't like women who go hard. Some men and only some times. For those who like to teeter on the edge of dirty, nasty and obviously sexual read this, a post from Jozen Cummings, Until I Get Married. Take a look inside the mind of the modern day bachelor I promise you wont be disappointed. *naughty grin*

A female member of the panel says after confirming an interest. By confirmation she says him obviously checking her out. She walks up to a guy and pulls the old "don't I know you?" trick. I'm not a fan of this and honestly can't refuse an opportunity to make any guy who opens with that squirm. I know it's terrible but there's something really attractive about a recovery for me personally. Infact, another way of looking at it would be as an opportunity. Cheeky, I know.

The female panel insists however that the days of the holler are long gone. That brothers are lazy. I hope not because there are not many things as satisfying as a good summer flirt. The thrill of the chase, the seduction of a possibility. 

"Romance is about the possibility of the thing. You see, it's about the time between when you first meet the woman, and when you first make love to her; When you first ask a woman to marry you, and when she says I do. When people who been together a long time say that the romance is gone, what they're really saying is they've exhausted the possibility" 

Darius Lovehall, Love Jones. 

Romance or flirting. The principle is the same, allow yourself to get excited about another somebody and toy with whatever possibility your imagination may conjure up.

In closing and in the words of the late Bernie Mac "I got mine, you'd better get yours."

Feast!