Sunday Introspection



feat Vuyiswa Mutshekwane

Its the Saturday before the Sunday feast and my Saturday began as it usually does, which is at The Neighbourgoods Market. The 1st portion of the day was spent catching up with the girl, Mk and that was followed by an early dinner with friends at Parkhurst. What was going to be a small Sunday lunch the following day, doubled in size as the table got beeger and the wine kept flowing. The next morning, I think we all woke up asking ourselves, who hadn't we invited over for lunch. As guests slowly arrived, from new friends to old faces I was relieved to see that everybody had in fact brought a dish or at the very least brought ingredients' to make their dishes there. There were quite a few mothers at the luncheon further illustrating how grown we really are. When every other friend is married and/or has children you knowing you're comfortably in the terrain where you can now throw around the phrase, "I'm a grown ass woman!"Sesibhadala yo! and the culinary skills were a testament to that. 


 THE PEOPLE.















MK did her best to avoid the camera but we see you

THE FOOD.















THE FOOD AND THE PEOPLE.




 

Being around all those mothers I couldn't help but wonder how each grappled with their new role. Honestly, its been a lot to take in and I still am processing and living. Motherhood has had a lot to do with my coming to terms with the fact that you I am a mother full-stop. It was and still is about gradually coming to the understanding and acceptance that I can't compartmentalize my various roles like I had done so in the past. When before, there was the I as well as the sister and daughter, I was never all these roles all the time, just some of the time. When you're a Mom its something you consider all the time. Theres a modus operandi and there are expectations of how you will act now vs how you would have behaved in the past. Not just by others but a higher bar that you have for yourself because what child has never at some point said "When I have kids I would or I would never ... ". Theres almost a lifetime of behavioral expectations one builds up without even realising it. I've always liked to think of the title of Mother and Father as something one aspires to, kinda like what it means when someone calls themselves a Christiaan. Which by definition is to be Christ like. So imagine that Mom/Father was a deity with all those lovely attributes like patience, love, kindness, protectiveness, wisdom etc etc and that to call yourself Mom or Dad is a commitment to try be all of that. Simply put I believe that mother/fatherhood is a journey. The journey is about going to places within yourself that will constantly draw whoever you are right now, closer to the aforementioned attributes as you become one with that greater calling. 

 
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1. How long have you been a mother?

Officially 7 months now ... .

2. I don't know about you but I got a plethora of advice. Mothers and non mothers alike had alot to say and contribute. What are some of the pearls you got but also what didn't they tell you?  

I also got a lot of advice; a combination of old wives tales, horror stories and just plain old lies but what I've realised that is that it's totally different for everyone and you just have to be yourself.  Do it your way.  Don't get caught up in all the pressure of how you SHOULD be doing it or the fact that you're expected to be some kind of (size 6) super hero a week into it.  
We were probably all dropped as babies at least once and (most of us) turned out just fine.  

3. How have you found the balancing act that is motherhood? Are you still the same ol' Vie? If not how are you different now as supposed to how you were then?

I'm constantly still trying to find the balance.  If I had it my way, I'd probably just spend the whole day lying on my back looking at my son.  I am DEFINITELY not the "same ol Vie" - my life has gotten so much simpler - in a good way - I've really just learnt how to put things into perspective.  I think I've also become a lot calmer... because once you've dealt with a baby screaming at you for 2 hours between 3 and 5 am for no apparent reason you really learn how to tap into that happy place.  I'm just so zen now.  Lol!! 

4. What would you say you've learnt about yourself ever since becoming a mother? 

That I'm not as selfish as I thought... I used to think it'd be impossible for me to whole heartedly put someone else's needs before my own but as it turns out such is not the case.  Also, apparently I CAN survive on 4 hours of sleep a day without completely unravelling.  Who woulda thunk it? 

5. What is your overall feeling about being a parent?
I think I can safely say t's my biggest accomplishment yet & the best decision I ever made.

6. Do you have a parenting philosophy? Or maybe what you want your son to come out with as far as the type of individual you would like him to be?

My philosophy is that there is only so much you can teach your child, or rather, there's only so much you can mould them - the rest they just have to learn from life.  I just hope that he grows up into a discerning individual who can take the good stuff out of what life has to teach him.

7. Why the name Amani?
Amani is a Swahili name - it means "Peace" or "Peaceful".  I always knew that I wanted a Swahili name because I wanted my child to be "pan African" (lol!! it sounds so corny right now).  I also wanted a name with a good meaning that people wouldn't be automatically inclined to want to shorten so it just fit.  He didn't have a name for the first week of his life cuz I wanted to meet him first and get a feel for him before giving him a name and "peaceful" really is an apt name for him.

Lol at "Pan African"!

Its crazy how every aspect of your life has something to draw you back to that reality though. The reality being, "I got a kid!" I'll sometimes be rummaging through my bag looking for something, toss out all the contents and instead of my hand cream I would have mistakenly taken my son's bum cream and there it goes "Boom! I got a kid!" or after a day at the mall I'll open my boot to put the days splurges away only to find that its fully occupied. My son's pram, still in the boot. "Boom! I got a kid!"There are also the times, when even after he's tucked in for the night and his toys neatly packed away into his toy box, I'll, with a glass of wine in hand, slowly sink into the couch and feel something stabbing at me from in between the cushions and "BOOM! I got a kid!". Lastly, theres me on the phone chatting away, mindlessly walking from my parking bay to my house. I'm still on the phone as I enter the door when suddenly my son shrieks "Mam!" and "Boom! I got a kid!". Tl tl tl. That though has gotta be my favourite BOOM! 

The sunday feastings have definitely been a highlight in my calendar.
A special thanks to Tebogo Leshilo for hosting. xoxo

Feast!





























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